If you're like me, then you came into your relationship with some baggage. YES! BAGGAGE!!! I carried around that baggage for 10 + years. I got so comfortable with it that I created a place for it in my relationship which was the wrong thing to do. I began to accommodate those feelings that I had from previous situations and began to slowly find myself punishing my partner for the last persons mistakes.
Fortunately for my partner and I, we have have been blessed to have beautiful friends who know all too well about relationships and their ups and downs. No relationship will ever be perfect, we get that, but you can learn to be perfect for each other.
I went back to the drawing board and looked at where I went wrong. This relationship was something that I wanted and if I didn't fight for it then it would surely end, and I didn't want that. I always envisioned a life where everything was great and picture perfect, isn't that what we are taught as little girls? I mean, think about it, from the time you are old enough to play with dolls, we have been taught that little girls are pretty and they don't sit on their knees, they close their legs when wearing dresses, they don't get dirty, they cook, clean, and please their men. That's cool, but what about YOU? Nowhere in the scheme of things does it say, "Oh and by the way, always take care of yourself too."
We had been having so many issues and arguments, and I walked around mad at everybody especially him, and sometimes I didn't even know why I was mad. My good friend told me that happiness is a state of being and to be happy is a decision that you make up in your mind.
It made sense to me, I liked the sound of being happy. I knew that my partner couldn't make me mad unless I allowed him too, I knew that I could be happy if I really wanted to be.
So I have learned that your relationship starts with you. What are you willing to deal with or not deal with? Choose to be happy with you and most importantly always take care of yourself
or you will find that you are unhappy because you aren't doing things to make yourself happy.
Don't wait on someone to make you happy-
Happy is a state of being, it is a state of mind!