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When I lost you I found me

I gave birth to my little bundle of joy on December 5, 2013. It was a happy day, a happy time for my family and I, but things didnt go exactly how they once went before with the birth of my now 11 yr.old son Koby.

Kingston is a special child, not that Koby isnt as well, but so special in such a way that God used him to grab or rather gain my attention once more. I love this child more than anything in this world, and there isnt anything that I would not do to protect him.

I had several issues while I was pregnant, but unfortunately when I'd ask about them, I was led to believe by my physician that it was nothing and that they were merely only signs that my body was trying to accomodate my growing baby. We both almost lost our lives in the delivery room that day, and after an agonizing 6 hours my little "King" was born by emergency c-section at 1:38pm. During surgery I lost a lot of blood due to a torn cervix and received 4 pints of blood. The doctors and nurses were not very forthcoming with information about what was going on, but it was quite obvious that something wasnt right. I didnt get to hold my baby, he was immediately rushed to the NICU because he wasnt breathing. I wasnt able to see Kingston for 5 hours. While lying on that bed in surgery God came to me, I was so scared, I didnt know what was happening, what was going on, I was out of it, tired, worried, weak and just down right miserable that my baby wasnt crying when they cut him out. I was in so much pain that day that everything is a blur. I remember telling God that I didnt want to die and that I at least wanted to meet my son first. I woke up in the recovery room, I was tired, sore and I had no idea what had just happened. I asked for my baby several times and they brought him to me. He was absolutely gorgeous, I loved him the first time I felt him move, I loved him the first moment I found out that I was pregnant. I never knew a love like that before besides my first child. When I became pregnant with Koby I was only 19 years old and had no clue what it meant to be a mother or even how to raise a child. I'm so blessed when I look back over my life with Koby because he helped to develop me for this moment, and if it had not been for Koby I wouldnt be able to sit here today and to tell you my story. I have so much joy in my kids, I wondered why God didnt give me a daughter the second time around, and now I know its because he knows that I could do it, he picked them just for me. I love my kids equally and as long as I have the ability to provide for them, I WILL.

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